Beliefs

Now what do I believe in?
Do I believe in God?
Of course! That's a given!
Well, for me it is anyway, considering the pieces I have collected so far. There has to be a God.
Now, what God is I can't answer.
I have theories, but I'm pretty sure that no matter how clever I think I am or how wild my imagination runs, my theories on God wouldn't come anywhere NEAR what God really is.
So I've settled on just thinking that God is everything. Not part of everything, God IS everything!

The way I am I just don't fit in with any organized religion. I hope God won't hold that against me!
At least what I am looking for in the end is to know God. The truth. The Alpha and the Omega.
I hope he will consider that.
I have huge issues with a lot of things in the Bible. I cannot believe that some of the things in there are supposed to be God's words! They sound an awful lot like the words of MEN!
I have looked at gnosticism some and find a lot of their believes to make sense.
The Bible, as it is now, is a collection of old scriptures that were chosen from a much larger selection of old scriptures, many many hundreds of years ago, by a bunch of MEN, who had decided that they were good/ wise/ holy enough to JUDGE which books would be considered true and should therefore be included in the holy scripture of this new religion Christianity.
Censorship! Pure and true.
Many books were thrown out. Some of those were the gnostic texts that were recovered in 1945 near the Egyptian town of Nag Hammadi.
Very interesting scriptures.

So, I have very few absolute truths, but I do have beliefs.
I have also no problem with people believing in other things. Not at all.
I do however have a problem with people trying to force their beliefs unto somebody else!
Many Christians that I have met have tried to "steer me in the right direction"...
How arrogant! To assume that I do not know my God in my heart!
To assume that they are better people than I am!
Who are they? Are they humble? Are they not being judgemental?
They are NOT the good Christians they believe themselves to be!
They don't believe, they are convinced! And it was never about conviction!
To be convinced is to have decided with your logical mind that this is something I choose to be my one and only truth. It closes your heart, your mind. It leads to stagnation of spiritual growth.
They think their faith is so strong, but really, they're just being stubborn!
Their faith, if confronted with a real challenge, is not as strong as they think!
It closes their mind to God in my opinion!

To believe is a much softer, humble, gentle thing to me.
To believe is to feel God within as well as all around. The ever present everything.

Of course there are good Christians as well, and I love their strong, pure hearts.
I just think many have forgotten what it was really all about. They have become blind.
They don't look around because they are afraid to see something that will shake that "oh so strong" faith of theirs.
So they deny it.
And they ridicule anyone who brings it to their attention.
That is fear.
And fear is the opposite of love.
And God is love.